Notes From the Week
Last Sunday I woke to the sound of rain.
I opened the window for the cats and left it open while I slept a little longer. After all, it was Sunday.
Later, I finished Sunday Pause, which has become my favorite thing to write each week.
There was lunch with friends, a stop at a market we love, and later, cards around the table with plenty of conversation and laughter.
Monday was a holiday, which meant time for one of my favorite breakfasts. Sangak toasted until it was a little crisp, feta, walnuts, herbs and figs with tea and rose water. Even better when there are other people around the table to enjoy it with.
By Tuesday, I was back at the office after my little vacation at home. A few days away had done what I needed them to do. I was refreshed and ready to go back.
This week I also reached sixty pounds lost.
I have been working at this for more than two years, but I haven't spent two years focused on losing weight. There have been vacations, holidays and summers when maintaining mattered more than losing another pound.
I can enjoy those parts of my life without undoing the progress I have already made, and then continue when I am ready.
Sixty pounds made me stop and appreciate how far I have come. It also reminded me how far I still have to go.
Somewhere after that, the week got a little crazy.
Thursday I let one issue at work take more of my day than it should have. I got everything done, but Friday's deadlines were suddenly much closer than I was comfortable with. Lunch never happened, and neither did the protein shake or most of the water sitting on my desk.
Thursday evening was Pilates. I love working with this instructor. I feel like I make real progress when I work with her, and by Friday I was feeling it.
Friday morning started with five unexpected guests in the pool. Apparently, our pool looked like a perfectly good place for a morning swim.
By Friday evening I was tired. Too tired, really, to enjoy dinner.
My favorite waiter wasn't there, and I realized how much he has become part of why we enjoy going to this particular restaurant. He is fun, positive and seems genuinely happy to see people. His attitude about life is contagious.
Without him there, it wasn't quite the same experience. The food seemed off too, although by that point I was tired enough to wonder whether it was the food, the atmosphere or me.
Something else happened while we were there.
Earlier that day, while doing my weekly review and looking ahead at next week's calendar, I noticed the anniversary of the day my niece's mother died five years ago was coming up. Seeing the date made me think of her.
That evening, sitting across from me in the restaurant was a woman who could have been her double. She wore her hair the same way. Her clothing reminded me of her. She had the same kind of smile, and even her laugh sounded like hers. It was a laugh I could never forget.
I kept looking over, hoping she didn't notice. The resemblance was startling, especially since I had been thinking about her earlier that day.
What made it even stranger was that I wasn't sitting where I usually sit. I had taken the opposite side of the table. Had I sat in my usual place, I wouldn't have seen her at all.
It's hard. I still feel like her life was robbed from her. My heart breaks when I think of everything she has missed, and everything her daughter has had to experience without her mom. So many milestones, celebrations and conversations already missed, with so many still ahead. Our family will always have an empty place where she should be.
Saturday was quieter and mostly about taking care of myself. A massage, a facial for my irritated skin, and then a couple of hours with my daughter while she did my hair and we caught up on life.
We ended the evening at dinner with one of our daughters and a friend of hers. Our daughter's boyfriend wanted us to visit the restaurant where he works, so we did. We try to be supportive of who and what is important to them.
A week can hold a lot.