The Monday Edit: Time

The clock ticks and the calendar pages turn. It seems to happen at a faster pace as I get older. I have been reflecting on this so much lately. I’ve also been reflecting on lasts.

Lasts come for many reasons, not just death. A little one is doing something completely adorable, and before you know it, they have moved past it. A relationship ends. The signs were there, but you weren’t thinking today, now. A chapter is finished, for whatever reason. We rarely know we are experiencing a last when we are in the middle of our lives, living it.

In all of this thinking, what I know is that I want to choose how I spend my time. I want time with the people I love, experiences I look forward to, and goals I want to accomplish. Each is important to me, and none of us is guaranteed more time.

I am ambitious. There are personal and professional goals I want to meet. Accomplishing them is important to me, but there are also daily responsibilities that need to be handled. At work, I want more time for the projects that move us toward our goals. It’s easy to get caught up in daily responsibilities and not spend time on who and what is important to us.

I want more sisters’ weekends and vacations with my partner. I want time with my kids and my granddaughter, and next year, God willing, my granddaughters. I want to travel more and have experiences for myself too. These are things I want to enjoy alongside the work and responsibilities that are part of my life.

As I think about this week, I’m considering what I want to accomplish and who I want to spend time with, alongside what needs to get done. Everything won’t fit. Some things will have to wait. I want to choose what waits rather than keep postponing the same things because I assume there will be time later.

Making the time is only part of it. I also want to be there, taking it all in.

No one planned to be trick or treating in the rain, but that is where we found ourselves. We went from house to house, feeling the rain. It wasn’t deterring a four year old at all. We were living the evening we had, and I’m glad I was there for it.

I don’t want to waste my time or spend a moment I’ve looked forward to thinking only about what comes next. If it turns out to be a last, I want to remember being fully there. If it is my last, I want whoever shared it with me to have a part of me in that memory.